Up the Creek without a Paddle?

19. October 2007 by Shannon.

Well. I thought I had a plan. I thought I knew what I was doing… or going to be doing. And again, I’ve been reminded that I am not in control, God is. His plan is a good plan. His plan is to bring me a hope and a future… so … why can’t I just have faith in that and let it be? Well, because I’m not perfect, I guess.

I need a global view of homeschooling. I need to learn to see the journey as a river… to determine my FINAL destination goal… my ideal… and then to accept that along the way I might have to get out and portage around some rapids, my canoe might spring a small leak… or a BIG one… but that all these things are part of the excitement of the journey. These are the wonderful memories I will be scrapbooking about when I’ve finished the journey. Why can’t I see them for what they are? All I see, or feel I see, is the next bend, the next obstacle… and find myself overwhelmed instead of excited at the possiblities of meeting that challenge. It makes me wonder how I’ve had any success at all in the years I’ve been homeschooling, and it makes me wonder at myself that I didn’t figure this out sooner.

It was in contemplating those “successful” homeschool friends of mine. What do their homeschools have that mine doesn’t??? I couldn’t quite place it, till it finally dawned on me. They are HOMESCHOOLERS… that is their journey, their way of life… their goal. My homeschool goals generally haven’t reached much past the end of June for any given year… and even at that, often it didn’t reach past getting through the month or week… maybe that was the difference. There was no other “option” for going to public school… it was “this is our life and we’ll work through whatever we come to together”.

Now I face a new homeschool journey. Greyson is just starting out in Kindergarten next year… so this is his “preschool” year. What is my destination? What is my route… do I truly see this as a life choice, not a school choice? I am praying for the wisdom that comes only from God, and for inspiration on what map to follow… there are just so many rivers to choose from and each of them bring us to a place of beauty, wonder and awe.

I sure hope my boat floats!

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